Maria Brockman, LMFT

Maybe you are experiencing symptoms, but you don’t know for sure if what you are feeling is depression. Or maybe you know you are depressed, but don’t know how many symptoms you are experiencing. Below are some of the classic signs of major depression. If you have a number of these symptoms, seeking a therapist is key in helping you work through the root cause of your depression and helping you to find your way back to mental health. Most of these symptoms will occur nearly every day.

• Feeling depressed most of the day. What a lot of people don’t realize is that depression isn’t always exhibited by a sad or sullen mood. Depression can often present as irritability. most of the day
• Diminished pleasure and/or interest in all, or almost all, activities.
• Significant weight loss or weight gain, or an increase or decrease in appetite.
• Insomnia or hypersomnia.
• Psychomotor agitation or retardation.
• Feeling fatigue or loss of energy.
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt.
• Diminished ability to think or concentrate; indecisiveness.
• Recurrent thoughts of death or recurrent suicidal ideation.
• These symptoms are impacting your social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

After reading the list, how did you score? Experiencing five or more of these symptoms indicates that you are having a major depressive episode. Don’t self-medicate. Take the time to deal with this depression. Get the help you need to combat it. Therapy can be a great way to learn the tools needed to keep these episodes from compounding on you.

Sometimes when a new client calls, they are sure that I am the therapist that they want to work with. Either they have heard about me from someone else or they get a “feeling” based on my website or on other bios of me. Other times, when a client calls they are not sure which therapist is the best fit for them and are not sure how to decide. In my practice, I am always open to having a meet and greet with clients who are looking for a therapist. If a person is unsure how to find a good match, I encourage them to meet with a couple of therapists within a short amount of time. Many therapists will allow a phone conversation or a meet-and-greet opportunity for potential clients. Here are three tips on how to pick your new therapist.

1. Ask for a “meet and greet.” Many therapists will block out a thirty-minute time frame for you to come to their office or to speak with them on the phone so that you can share your concerns in life and ask them any questions that you may have.
2. Meet with a few therapists. One thing that really plays over in my head from graduate school is how important the relationship between client and therapist is for healing to occur. It is VERY important that the therapist and client have a good rapport with each other so that healing can take place for the client. How will you know who you will have a good rapport with? Well, some people just get a feeling based on a therapist’s website or phone manner. Others need to see the office and meet face-to-face with the therapist in order to determine if the therapist is a good fit for them. And if neither of those work for you, meet with a few therapists over a short period of time, either for a meet and greet or for a first session. This will give you a feel for their style and way of interacting with you. Then base your decision on who you connected with the best.
3. Ask Questions!! Many times I hear stories from clients who had been in therapy at some point and did not like the experience. Therapy is a service. You have a right to ask the therapist questions based on your needs. If you know a particular style of therapy does or does not work for you, ask the therapist about it. If you need to be able to do phone sessions every now and then instead of coming into the office, ask about phone therapy or FaceTime/Skype options. If you truly don’t want to talk about your past, but want to focus on the future, ask your therapist how they feel about that. Their approach may or may not be a fit for you, and it’s better to discover this at the start than realize you dislike the service after you have been paying for it for months.

Just as you are an individual with your own personality and style, therapists are individuals, too. We bring our own personal history into the room, our different educational perspectives, and our different beliefs about what helps people heal. It makes sense that not all therapists and clients will be a perfect match. If it is something minor, such as not liking the pictures they display in their office, you may be able to work through that, but if overall you don’t vibe well with their style or approach, it may be that you need to take the time to find a better match. After all, this is your precious time and money and it makes sense to get a good rapport and healing out of them.